Love

 Yeah I had love to offer but you always put me on a shelf and it hurts I wait there - I shouldn't wait there. Unclear limbo crap why am I so scared what is it I fear about this - losing a person who gave me nothing? I haven't lost anything just what could have been a great love if he had not been such an arsehole the whole time. Those horrible feelings of total insecurity and lack and underappreciation. It is all a memory and a memory is not enough. No this small piece of you is not enough. 

Oh and I feel sorry for you - but I am not putting love into something that is stagnating. At least he communicated something but it is not enough and it is never enough. 

Well, I am just the lover and he is just looking for a wife somewhere else probably. 

Anyway, he can't bother me now- I can get over it in peace. I can move on in peace. He can't show up at my door and confuse me. 

I deserve to be treated better but never quite have the strength to ask for it. No, I have the strength to ask for it all. 

I shouldn't just let it go - but he is shitty, to be honest - totally shitty - just causes suffering for me all the time and I should have no let him treat me so badly and being so understanding. A jerk. 

A bad experience- the clash of cultures. The love that was there but was doomed and wasn't going to survive. 

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