It was all so much nonsense

 You don't communicate so who the hell knows what's going on. 

I was so upset and shocked and upset and shocked and upset and shocked and I bet you don't want me to come and visit you. You can't imagine a long-distance relationship with me, well, who wants a relationship with someone who doesn't communicate? 

Why was I in this relationship? You didn't communicate. It was some sort of nightmare. It is torture. Your avoidance. Your fear is like torture for me. I should have taken my power back you were fucking dreadful. Your behaviour was fucking dreadful. 

God, I bet you treat the next girl better, I just got your shit. And it meant nothing. You didn't value me. 

You just made a mess and run away; it was pretty bad- you don't know where to start and crap. You don't even understand why I wrote the things I wrote- totally disconnected and so forth. 

Where did we stand exactly with you disappearing? Fucking bastard. Nowhere. Fucking nowhere. Did you tell my therapist and my friend that you were thinking of breaking up? Jesus well. I fucking hate you. 

I think I am aware that this relationship wasn't the one I wanted or needed. 

I hate you and I love you. I don't love you anymore.

Fears and insecurity. 

How do I overcome them?

Fear of failure - maybe I don't see myself as someone who can obtain a good degree- a better degree.