I hate you

 I don't hate you but I should. You call yourself an arse all the time, and I guess that is well....confusing...why call yourself an arse if you are not going to change it. 

Why were you a arse to me? You weren't coping and it was all just another thing to you, and you couldn't afford to think emotionally on that and cope with everything else. Jesus. What the hell does that even mean? It means nothing it's just detachment. 

Was it like some admission, oh please give me a break I can't cope right now. 

How could you be so selfish towards me? I know you had a lot of shit to deal with but you never talked to me, you would just disappear when things were hard. You would say you were a burden and didn't want to add to my shit, but you knew I hated it when you disappeared. I asked you not to. You still did it. Fucking liar. 

It was more oh it is over because I can't cope with it and whatever. It all just another thing. Jesus, you are a selfish prick. I have a life too and you were always just another fucking thing I had to deal with, but I did. I wish I hadn't. I really do. 

It wasn't like sorry I can't cope, I will deal with these things later. Fucking hell. Disturbed. 

You said you would call and you never did. Bastard. I can't imagine talking to you again. You are always running away so it is always like the nerves of the first time. 

You were probably scared because you knew I wanted more.